- Identify Your Stressors
- Secure Your Foundation
- Sleep
- Nourish Your Body
- Get Physical
- Let Your Values Do the Driving
- Schedule Your Day Wisely
- Master Your Money
- Do Right
- Enjoy the Present
- Just Say No
- Be Flexible
- Delegate
- Evaluate Your Expectations
- Resolve Conflicts
- Release the Past
- Take a Time-Out
- Admit Your Mistakes and Shortcomings
- Ask for what you want
- Limit Contact with Stress-Producing People
- Create a Peaceful Atmosphere
- Release Your Tension
- Laugh
- Slow Your Pace
- Solidify Your Support System
- Stop Stress-Speak
- Deal with Disappointments
- Change Self-Sabotaging Behaviors
- Understand Your Sphere of Influence
- Maintain a Positive Outlook
Prologue
“Your brother is on the line!” yelled my administrative
assistant through the half-closed door to my office. It was the second Tuesday
of the month, the day of the monthly board of director’s meeting at the church
where I served as the chief financial officer. The meeting would start in a few
hours. I had already instructed her to put through only the most urgent calls
on board meeting days as we scrambled to prepare the various financial reports
I would present at the meeting. However, the call from my brother was always
deemed important because it most likely concerned my mother. I was her
conservator— and her only daughter. My heart always skipped a beat when any one
of my six brothers called because my mother had suffered a stroke two years
earlier and was still struggling to get back to normal physically as well as
emotionally.
I grabbed the receiver and put it to my ear a little too quickly.
The intense pain in my jaw from the pressure of the phone reminded me that
today I was supposed to find a doctor to give me a second opinion on my
neurologist’s diagnosis of trigeminal neuralgia— a very painful inflamed facial
nerve condition. At times the condition had rendered me speechless. Though it
really was important to get another opinion, today I could only focus on urgent
matters. I’d have to do it tomorrow. I longed for a nap. I had only slept about
four hours the night before because I had stayed up cooking and writing.
Though my husband did not expect it, I tried to make sure he had a cooked meal
available on nights when I had to work late. I liked the idea of being a
domesticated professional woman. It felt right based upon my traditional
upbringing. Besides, it took away my guilt for working such outrageous hours.
Of course, the time I spent writing was necessary because I had been fortunate
enough to land a contract with one of the top Christian publishing houses in
the United States. No way was I going to miss my manuscript submission
deadline— which was only two weeks away. I was surely going to have to pull
some all-nighters to finish on time. Board meeting days were always guaranteed
to be a 12-hour stint since the workday began at 8: 30 AM and the meeting did
not start until 6: 30 PM.
As a coping mechanism for my to-do overload, I
decided to block out the thought of my upcoming speaking engagement on Saturday
morning. I would work on the presentation on Thursday evening— or even Friday,
if I could convince my husband to postpone our weekly Friday date night until
Sunday after church. I was reluctant to ask him because I wanted to appear to
be handling everything with no problems. I couldn’t cancel the speaking
engagement because the date was too close. Absent an emergency, I never cancel.
Besides, speaking is critical for an author’s exposure. Back to my brother. He
was calling to tell me that my mother had run out of her most critical
medication. The person who was being paid to cover this function had dropped
the ball again. I would need to call in the prescription right away so that
Gene could pick it up from the pharmacy. As we bemoaned the continued
frustration of dealing with my mother’s care, I took a quick glance at the
financial statement that had just been shoved under my nose to review for the
board meeting.
There were several glaring errors that threatened to send me
over the edge. I wanted to smack the person who had prepared the statement, but
I was so hungry I wouldn’t have had the energy to engage in this fleeting
fantasy anyway. There would be no time for lunch or any type of break today—
which meant that I wouldn’t be very discriminating in my food selection when
things simmered down later. This schedule was wreaking havoc on my body. I was
paying the price for working late instead of working out. I closed my eyes and
thought, Oh, for the rapture! Of course, I did not really mean it. Thinking
about beingsnatched away to be with the Lord for all eternity was just a
temporary mental escape from life’s demands. Okay, I said to myself as I took a
long, deep breath, things could be worse. I have a lot to be grateful for, but
at that moment, gratitude was not among my chief thoughts. The urgent matters
at hand had already grabbed first place in my mind.
On the surface, my life
looks idyllic: great husband, great job, great boss, great salary, great family
support, great house, great publishing firm— the works. Along with all that,
however, came the responsibility for keeping these areas great— and that
spelled more demands on my time. Further, as in every person’s life, I had some
not-so-positive pressures that also tried to threaten my peace. Things such as
mediating family conflicts, unexpected car and boat repairs, employee
misunderstandings— you know the drill. Of course, as Superwoman, I kept
ignoring the nagging pains that were becoming more frequent each day. While
your life events may not parallel mine, I can assure you that if you are
reading this book, your own set of daily circumstances are probably producing
the same results— stress. Everybody talks about doing something about it eventually,
but few people seem to deal with the problem directly and bring it under
control. You have probably heard that the only things in life that are certain
are death and taxes.
Well, stress can easily be added as a third certainty. It
is unavoidable. It was Job who declared, “Man born of woman is of few days and
full of trouble” (Job 14: 1 NIV). He was right . No one’s life is free of
stress-producing situations and their physical and emotional impact on our
bodies. According to the American Institute for Stress, stress is responsible
for 75 to 90 percent of doctor visits in America. Notwithstanding, I believe
there is hope. “There is a special rest still waiting for the people of God”
(Hebrews 4: 8).
Let me warn you that this book is not about how to manage your
life to the point of eliminating stress, but rather how to respond to it and to
minimize the degree to which you experience it. I want you to lock arms with me
while we pursue a scripturally based, practical approach to dealing with this
problem that impacts people at every level of society. I am not a psychologist,
but I am inspired through the divine Word of God. I promise you I will avoid
pie-in-the-sky recommendations that only work in theory. What I know for sure
is that God wants His children to walk in peace. Peace is a fruit of the Holy
Spirit. If you are not experiencing it, then it is time to confront your
stressors— even those you may have worn as a badge of honor— and to get on the
road of peace and emotional rest God has ordained for you.
Day 1
Identify Your
Stressors
Please listen and answer me, for I am overwhelmed by my troubles.
PSALM 55: 2
I have done countless analyses during my career as a financial
executive; however, until a couple of years ago, I had never done a stressor
analysis in which I listed the situations or people that were bringing pressure
to bear upon me and evaluated the extent to which that pressure was impacting
me. Stress is our biological response to the pressures of life. The pressures
do not necessarily have to be negative to have a negative impact on our bodies,
nor must they be the things that are the obvious. I had assumed that things
that kept me the busiest would be the primary stressors, but that did not prove
to be true. Here are the results of my analysis:
• Mother’s housing and health care issues
• My eternal weight loss battle
• Inability to find qualified employees
• Balancing the increasing demands of my dual careers
• My husband’s tentativeness about his career objectives
As I pondered my stressors , I objectively categorized them
into those I could impact and those outside of my circle of influence. In
addition to the major stressors, I also had minor stressors not caused by
external situations, but rather by my traditional thinking and entrenched
attitudes. While my mother’s situation caused me the most concern, I knew that
due to certain home ownership issues and her insistence on living in her
familiar but problem-ridden environment, I could do very little to make an
impact. Therefore , I had to develop an effective coping strategy. I have
learned to segment and delay my mental preoccupation with certain situations
when other stressors demand my attention. I call it “managing my sanity.”
God
has given me the grace to do it. My dual career was beginning to require most
of my attention. I had felt for the past two years that my season was up as the
chief financial officer of the church, but I just couldn’t bring myself to tell
my boss, even though my husband and others who were sensitive to the voice of
God were pressing me to do so. I loved the Bishop. He was the most endearing
boss I had ever had. My experience with him was nothing like the horror stories
I had heard from my counterparts in other ministries.
He rarely called me at
home, and if he did, he was very apologetic about it and genuinely needed
something that could not wait. I worked crazy hours because I felt that he and
the church deserved the same level of effort I had given to companies I had
worked for in the corporate world. Notwithstanding, the work never seemed to be
done. The job had taken its toll on my health. It was time to take care of
myself and time to obey God. Over a two-year period, I had no fewer than ten
different highly respected Christian leaders strongly encourage me to go into
full -time ministry. I did not want God to have to drag me kicking and
screaming to my destiny, so I finally mustered enough courage to tender my
resignation. It took five Kleenex tissues for me to tell the Bishop .
I cried
for the entire month leading up to the final date. I had worked many, many
16-hour or more days. I had even postponed a couple of needed surgeries because
I could never find an extended period to be away from the office. I had not
realized I was so emotionally invested in the place until I faced the reality
that I would no longer be there. We had built this awesome $ 66 million
cathedral, and I had signed the check for every single item in it. It was
featured in several popular magazines. Further, my husband and I had sacrificed
and made a significant financial investment in the project. I felt a serious
sense of ownership. I knew God was saying, “Okay, mission accomplished.”
However, I just wanted to settle down and enjoy the fruit of my labor. Plus, I
had finally become comfortable with my expertise of every aspect of our
operation. It did not seem right to let it all go to waste. Many times the path
to God’s perfect will for our lives requires us to make various transitions.
For example, to get to San Diego, California, where I often speak, I have to
travel on Interstate 10 for a few miles, transition to the 110 Freeway for
several more miles, and finally transition to the 405 Freeway for more than 100
miles before I reach San Diego. Obviously, I would never get there if I remained
on I-10. Transitions are sometimes mandatory if we want to achieve our
destination. So it is with our ordained destiny.
We are created with free will,
which is not to say that God does not have a special plan for our lives, yet it
is we who act outside God’s will, therefore missing the blessings He has for
us. Many times God is saying, “Time to transition to the next path.” But we
respond, “I’m very familiar with this route. Can’t I just stay here and still
reach my destiny?” Then we have the audacity to become frustrated or blame God
when our goals seem to elude us. I had to get real about my stressors, and yes,
the idea of the transition was weighing heavily on my mind. Being a CPA, I
resisted the natural temptation to do a detailed analysis of the impact of
taking my income out of the household budget. I truly wanted to makea faith
decision rather than a financial one. I do not recommend this approach under
normal circumstances. I simply had the personal assurance of the Holy Spirit
that God was going to do exceedingly and abundantly above all that I could ask
or think.
Further, I knew that all of our needs would be met no matter
what my husband’s career decision was going to be. So I took the plunge. God
has been faithful to His Word and we have not missed a beat financially. Have
you taken the time to analyze your stressors? I suggest you find a quiet place
where you will not be interrupted for at least 30 minutes. Make a list of every
situation stressing you. Include everything from the annoying friend who
competes with you to your messy, irresponsible teenager whom you love with all
your heart. Now rank each one from most to least stressful. Meditate on what
God would have you do in confronting these situations. You might also want to
discuss some coping strategies with a trusted friend or counselor.
TODAY’S SENTENCE PRAYER: Father, please give me the wisdom
to deal with the things that bring pressure to bear upon me so that I may
respond Your way and bring honor to Your name.
Day 2
Secure Your Foundation
The one who hears my words and does
not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground
without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed
and its destruction was complete. LUKE 6: 49 NIV
No structure can withstand the
winds of adversity without a solid foundation. Our lives are no different. We
must build them on a firm foundation if we expect to withstand the innumerable
pressures of daily living. Our lives are very similar to a stool that has a base
and four legs. The base is our spiritual foundation, which consists primarily
of prayer and the Word of God. The legs represent the financial, relational,
mental, and physical aspects of our lives. Each leg must be strongly connected
to our spiritual base in order for it to stand and be strong. Not one leg can
stand alone and disconnected. For example, the financial leg must be managed
according to biblical principles of giving, integrity, hard work, and so forth.
If not, you will experience stressful situations, such as too much debt, bad
business deals, and fiscal chaos. The relational leg must also be handled
according to biblical principles or we will not havethe power to exercise
unconditional love, forgiveness, or long-suffering. Our mental well-being is
directly proportional to the extent to which we embrace God’s Word and allow it
to regulate our minds and emotions— and keep us in perfect peace. A strongly
connected physical leg empowers us to treat our bodies according to the
principles of the Word; we get proper rest, eat right, and engage in overall
health maintenance. You get the picture. The strength and success of every
facet of our lives will be determined by the strength of our foundation. If the
base is weak, there is no hope for the legs. It is no wonder, then, that Satan
makes every attempt to prevent us from strengthening our base. We must be
diligent to secure our foundation first thing each day before we fall victim to
distractions. I remember one day when I was preparing to pray. I went into my
prayer room, and just as I started to pray I decided it would really be nice to
listen to my sounds of nature CD that featured birds chirping, running streams,
and background music. It would be a great backdrop for prayer as well as a
de-stressor as I would imagine being alone with the Lord in a forest—
especially if I used my noise-blocking headphones. When I went to the place
where I normally kept these items, I could not find the headphones or the CD. I
searched everywhere. In one room I looked through a stack of CDs that were
waiting to be put back into their original cases. I figured that since I was
there I’d take a quick minute to organize them . Fifteen minutes later I moved
from there and proceeded to look in the trunk of my car for the missing items.
There I found another array of CDs that needed to be organized and put back
into their original cases. I thought, Oh, what’s an extra ten minutes ? I’ll
make it up to the Lord. I organized the CDs— and the entire trunk. Next I went
into my home office and behold, there they were— my noise-blocking headphones
and my nature CD. But since I was so close to the computer, I decided to
quickly check my e-mail just in case there was one that needed an urgent reply.
I have friends who jokingly describe this set of distractions as AAADD— Age
Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. Nevertheless, an hour later, I was now
ready to head back to my prayer room. Of course, the hour I had scheduled to
pray was up, so I ended up spending about 20 hurried, guilt-filled minutes
running through my prayer list and quickly browsing through a psalm. I thought,
How rude of me to start a conversation with the Lord and then leave Him hanging
for an entire hour! Would I have done that to anyone else? Of course not. But
the day was waiting and I was already behind on my to-do list. I knew that even
the 20 minutes I had spent were better than nothing, but I did not feel I had
really nourished my spirit. I did not feel I had made the level of connection I
desired. Rather, I felt the accuser trying to convince me that I had only been
performing an “obligatory” duty because I am “supposed” to pray because I am a
Bible teacher, and teachers should be able to say that they pray consistently.
The only way I have found to be consistent in prayer is to set a specific time
and place for it. Otherwise, something else will keep taking precedence over
it. Do not allow yourself to be distracted. Do not fool yourself into thinking
you will get to it later. By the end of the day, you’ll be too tired to enter
into His rest. You’ll simply want to say, “God, bless everybody in the whole
world. You know their needs. Good night!” I believe a time will come in every
Christian’s life where the key to their survival will depend on their
relationship with the Lord. When my friend Althea Sims’ husband suffered a
massive stroke, she suddenly found herself thrust into the role of holding
together— spiritually and administratively— the church where he was pastor. She
also had to assume responsibility for their household finances— a task he also
handled. These were uncharted waters for her. Further, she had to continue her
duties as mother to her dependent children. The doctors provided little hope of
Pastor Reggie’s survival during the days following his stroke. Althea was the
Rock of Gibraltar and it was not a facade— you could feel her strength and her
peace. Recently I asked her how she kept her sanity during that extremely
stressful period. She responded, “I survived because of where I was in the Lord
when it all happened.” She She had secured her foundation way before the storm.
Solomon was right when he said, “If you fail under pressure, your strength is
not very great” (Proverbs 24: 10). We cannot escape life’s troubles or
stressors, but we can fortify our spirits with prayer and the Word of God so
that we can have the strength and courage to respond to and overcome them.
TODAY’S SENTENCE PRAYER:
Dear Lord, please ignite in me a
passion for prayer and for Your Word so that I may secure my spiritual
foundation and weather the storms when they arise in my life.
Day 3
Sleep
I will lie down in peace and sleep, for you alone, O
LORD, will keep me safe. PSALM 4: 8
Sleep is more important to our survival than water or food.
Getting sufficient sleep to restore our bodies is a key factor in coping with
day-to-day stress. Further, failure to get enough sleep also increases stress
and can make us less able to handle stressful situations. Most adults,
regardless of age, need the recommended eight hours of restful sleep a night.
But sometimes stress can keep us awake, making matters worse as we find
ourselves in a vicious cycle of a stressful situation keeping us up and then a
lack of sleep causing more stress. Sleeplessness, then , can be one of many
signs that our body is under stress. What about your sleep habits? Do you have
a sleep routine in which you go to bed and get up about the same time, or do
you allow events, people, deadlines, or other circumstances to dictate your
sleep schedule? For those of you whose bedtime routine is rather extensive, do
you start to wind down in plenty of time to allow yourself to complete it, or
does the routine itself become a stressor? Ever thought about completing it
hours before your bedtime? Most of us think of sleep as some passive process in
which we drift off into oblivion and wake up several hours later well rested.
The truth of the matter is that sleep is an active state. Many metabolic and
other restorative processes occur during the various stages of sleep. If we do
not sleep long enough for our system to be rejuvenated, we will most likely
find ourselves irritated by the smallest things and battling a whale of an
appetite. The excess hunger is just our body’s cry for the energy that was
supposed to be supplied by a good night’s sleep. If you have trouble sleeping ,
you can try some things to help you sleep better. Although experts say that you
should not exercise within a couple of hours of turning in, I find that a
leisurely walk on my treadmill helps me to sleep well. The key is not to engage
in an activity that raises your heart rate significantly because that will
interfere with sleep. You might also try taking a warm bath while burning an
aromatherapy candle . You will want to avoid caffeine, alcohol , nicotine , and
heavy meals near bedtime. (Of course, eliminating the consumption or use of
these things in general would be a plus.) If you are menopausal or
premenopausal, you might need to add sugar to this list. You will want to make
sure that your room is dark and cool. The purchase of blackout window shades to
avoid the bright morning light would be a good investment. I also use eyeshades
so that the light doesn’t disturb me when my husband arises before I get up. A
good comfortable mattress and pillow are a must. Don’t skimp here. They are as
important as wearing comfortable shoes. I have one of those memory foam pillows
that ensures the correct alignment of your head and body throughout the night.
When I go on a trip, I notice the difference in my quality of sleep. Keep your
bed linens fresh. Even if you do not change your sheets every few days, fresh
pillowcases will still set the stage for a pleasant sleeping experience. If you
are unable to turn off your racing mind, try the deep breathing exercise
discussed in chapter 22, “Release Your Tension.” If there is an issue that you
need to deal with, then plan to do so. Get in touch with why you are unable to
sleep. If none of these suggestions work and you still have trouble sleeping
for three weeks or longer, talk to your doctor, a sleep disorder expert, or
mental health professional. In the meantime, continue to meditate on
sleep-related Scriptures, such as Proverbs 3: 24: “Yes, you will lie down and
your sleep will be sweet” (NKJV). And keep praying to the great Great Physician.
TODAY’S SENTENCE PRAYER:
Father, You promised to give Your children rest. Therefore,
I will lie down in peace, and my sleep will be sweet.
Day 4
Nourish Your Body
Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do
all to the glory of God. 1 CORINTHIANS 10: 31 KJV
You will be able to manage your stress much more effectively
if you know how the foods you consume affect your body’s ability to cope with
daily pressures. Despite the many books on the market today that adequately
explain how to properly fuel our bodies, nutritional ignorance seems to be the
norm in America as the rate of obesity continues to rise . When the pressure is
on, many find refuge and comfort in food. Nourishing our bodies properly is a
lifelong endeavor, and we would do well to become as nutrition-conscious as
possible. I am surprised by the number of people who do not know the difference
between proteins (lean meats, eggs, etc.) and carbohydrates (breads, pastas,
potatoes, rice, etc.). Some are oblivious to the difference between simple
carbohydrates (man-manipulated stuff, like chips, cookies, and cakes) and
complex carbohydrates (fruit, vegetables, legumes , and foods that have not been
altered by man). Complex carbohydrates and proteins are a winning combination
to a healthy body and proper weight management. Finally, there are some who
think that “cholesterol free” means that the cooking oils are calorie free and
can be consumed in unlimited quantities versus the reality that it is simply
unsaturated (won’t go solid when cold) but has the same number of
calories—which are the highest of all food choices. You can improve your
nutritional IQ by going to your local bookstore or health food store and buying
books or even pocket booklets that explain the composition of certain foods.
Once you understand that there are virtually no nutrients in junk foods, you
cannot in good conscience make a steady diet of them. Sure, you may crave an
occasional Twinkie, but eating them regularly should not be part of your food
regimen. If you have the physical stress symptoms of poor concentration,
fatigue, or a ferocious appetite, you may be tempted to get a quick fix by
eating junk food. The items of choice usually contain caffeine, sugar, or
something salty with a crunch. Do you find it interesting that when spelled
backward, s-t-r-e-s-s-e-d is d-e-s-s-e-r-t-s? Have you noticed that you never
tend to crave foods like carrots, apples, or lean meats, even though they may
be better for you in the long run? But therein is the answer: the long run. It
takes a healthy food choice longer to raise our blood sugar to the point where
we feel satisfied, whereas the junk food delivers an immediate result because
its refined ingredients are quickly assimilated. Further , they cause your
brain to release serotonin, a hormone that helps you to relax— for a brief
time. The time is so brief that you’ll need another hit of carbohydrates to
recover from the precipitous drop in your blood sugar. This time you’ll
probably have to consume even more carbohydrates because your blood sugar drops
even lower than it was originally after the first carbohydrate fix, so your
body is going to have to work harder to get your sugar level back to normal. Is
this beginning to sound like a drug addiction scenario? Through all of this
activity, there is a good chance that you are not really hungry, but rather
feeding whatever the emotion (anger, fear, fatigue, etc.) the stress generated.
A 10- to 15-minute nap may be the best solution. Of course, if you were
diligent to make sure that you ate the right foods frequently throughout the
day, then your blood sugar would stay at a level that would eliminate those
cravings. Learn your own body and monitor what triggers you to want to eat. One
of the best strategies against stressful eating is to get the healthy protein
in your system first thing in the morning. Rather than donuts and coffee, try
having an egg sandwich or peanut butter and toast with low-fat or soy milk.
Plan for times when you may be prone to stressful eating by having only healthy
alternatives available. When I go away to write, I only stock foods that are
healthy to eat. Of course, I hate it at midnight when I feel I could eat a
whole bag of Oreos but only have cantaloupe available! Nutritional and
homeopathic supplements also play a vital role in helping us to cope with
stress, tension, or anxiety. However, before you begin an herbal program , you
should at least make a call to your medical doctor to make sure that certain
herbs do not interfere with your current medications. It is a known fact that
during times of stress, more vitamin C is depleted from the body. Therefore, an
extra dose to replenish it may be needed. Our food choice habits took years to
develop. I can trace my propensity to reach for sugar back to my grandmother’s
house, where her tea cakes made everything better when I had a problem. Now, just
because I have identified the source of the bad habit does not mean I can
continue to use it to justify bad behavior. It simply means I have to develop
new coping habits for my life. For example, most of the time I now try to opt
for a piece of fruit or a small protein bar instead of a refined carbohydrate
snack that has little or no nutrients.
Prolonged stress can cause our internal systems to break
down. We need to keep our insides strong by selecting foods that nourish us
rather than work against us.
TODAY’S SENTENCE PRAYER: Father, please give me the desire
and the discipline to consume foods that properly nourish my body.
Day 5
Get Physical
I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what
it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be
disqualified. 1 CORINTHIANS 9: 27
Physical activity is an excellent stress-buster and is
critical to normalizing your body after a stressful event. When your brain
senses a threat or danger, it quickly releases hormones carrying an urgent
message via the bloodstream to the adrenal glands (which sit atop the kidneys).
The message says, “Let’s prepare to resist or to run now!” The adrenal glands
produce excess stress chemicals, cortisol and adrenaline, and rushes them into
the bloodstream, where they get delivered to various parts of the body via
nerve fibers. The body responds with increased strength, raised blood pressure,
and other assistance needed to resist or run. There have been countless stories
of people who exhibited unusual strength in a crisis. I heard of a petite young
mother who actually lifted the back of a car under which her child had been
trapped. Of course, a crisis is not limited to threats of physical danger. The
threat of losing a job or a loved one , or even the excitement of a happy
occasion can cause the brain to put the body on high alert. The adrenal glands
do not attempt to distinguish between negative or positive excitement. Once the
crisis is over, the excess hormones need to be dissipated out of the
bloodstream. This is where exercise plays a critical role. Regular physical
activity helps to burn these extra chemicals so your body can return to normal.
Imagine their buildup if you tend to live in a period of stress day in and day
out. Studies have linked an accumulation of stress hormones to strokes, heart
disease, high blood pressure, thyroid malfunction, decrease in muscle tissue,
obesity, impaired memory, and a host of other maladies. In fact, people have
died from heart failure in a crisis because their heart muscle was not strong
enough to handle all of the stress hormones that had been pumped into the
bloodstream to prepare the body to handle the crisis. In addition to its
positive impact on stress, physical activity provides us with numerous other
benefits , including better resistance to illness, stronger bones, more energy,
and stronger muscles. What activity is best? The best form of exercise is the
one you enjoy and find the most convenient. These are the two biggest reasons
why most of us fail to be consistent in following an exercise program . First,
we either lose interest in the activity because we don’t really get a lot of
satisfaction out of doing it. I have had beginning lessons in almost every
sport— two or three times for some. Rollerblading, skiing, swimming, golfing,
and even completing the Los Angeles Marathon have not held my interest. I’m
just a plain walker. I get great joy from bonding with my friends as we power
walk or even stroll through various parks, neighborhood walking routes, and
along beach paths. Secondly, we tend to not be consistent in an activity if it
requires too much time or effort to access. Why join a gym across town and only
show up two or three times a year? Exercising already requires discipline, so
why allow inconvenience to add more stress to the process? Whether a brisk walk
or a high-energy fitness class, almost any physical activity will help you let
off steam, distract you from your source of stress, and improve your mood. It
also relaxes and reenergizes your body. The duration of the exercise should be
a minimum of 30 minutes of physical activity a day at least five days a week.
Doing more is even better. Some fitness gurus suggest that if you cannot carve
out 30 minutes at a time, grab 10-minute segments throughout the day. There are
also other benefits to making exercise the center of your stress-busting
program. People who are routinely active tend to eat better, and as discussed
in the previous chapter, a healthy diet also helps your body manage stress
better. In addition, physical activity can help you lose weight, keep it off,
and feel better about yourself. Feeling physically inadequate can be a stressor
in itself. If you cannot find the time for an official workout, try building
the activity into your lifestyle. My doctor recently suggested that I park on the
outskirts of the shopping mall so that I will be forced to walk farther. You
may try taking the stairs several times during the day for a certain number of
floors. Stress can wear your body down mentally and physically; however, a
healthy body can cope with stress better than an unhealthy one. In 1 Timothy 4:
8, Paul reminded Timothy, “Physical exercise has some value, but spiritual
exercise is much more important, for it promises a reward in both this life and
the next.” Tailor your physical activities to your lifestyle. The most
important thing is to keep moving.
TODAY’S SENTENCE PRAYER: Father, I need Your divine
empowerment to engage in some form of physical activity on a regular basis.
Day 6
Let Your Values Do the Driving
As I looked at everything I had worked so hard to
accomplish, it was all so meaningless. It was like chasing the wind. There was
nothing really worthwhile anywhere. ECCLESIASTES 2: 11
What are your guiding principles? What drives your behavior?
Is it the quest for the finer things of life? Or maybe you are in pursuit of
social status or you simply desire to achieve perfection in your endeavors.
Whatever the motivation, is it worth the stress it causes you? Let’s see how our
Savior dealt with one woman’s self-imposed stress. One day Jesus and His
disciples stopped for a visit at the home of Martha and Mary. Martha, being the
consummate hostess, fretted about trying to get everything just right for her
guests. Mary, however , had a different agenda. She chose to sit and listen to
Jesus talk. Martha wasn’t having it. She needed Mary to give her a hand, so she
appealed to Jesus. She came to Jesus and said , “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair
to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work ? Tell her to come
and help me.” But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are so upset over
all these details! There is really only one thing worth being concerned about.
Mary has discovered it— and I won’t take it away from her” (L UKE 10: 40-42).
Unfortunately for Martha, Jesus backed Mary. Mary’s behavior said, “I value the
opportunity to sit at the feet of Jesus and to feast on His words; therefore,
that’s where I’m going to invest my time and energy.” This is not a story about
prayer but about bringing our values and our behavior into alignment. Martha
was not a bad person; she simply had misplaced values. Values serve as our
internal compass. Even corporations have developed “values-driven” principles
that dictate their actions. Many post them in their hallways and common areas
for all employees to see and embrace. It also keeps the corporation
accountable. One very popular Christian organization has as one of its core values
the importance of the family. Therefore, it is not their policy to have
employees working overtime except when absolutely necessary. Their personnel
policies are also family friendly. Because our values are our internal
navigation system, when we choose a course of action that is inconsistent with
these values, stress is often the result. Let’s take a look at a few
scripturally based values that can help to minimize the stress in our lives.
God’s Sovereignty. “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was
recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had
passed” (Psalm 139: 16). We can rest in the knowledge that God has the last
word on everything that concerns us. When it is all said and done, we have an
ordained destiny . While God does not show us the parade of our lives from
start to finish, we know that He is our drum major and we must simply march to
His beat. For example, from a professional perspective, He orchestrates the
timing of our promotions, our exposure to influential people, and all other
aspects of our careers. It is an insult to His omnipotence when we engage in
backstabbing, dirty politics, strategic maneuverings, and other stress-inducing
efforts designed to advance our ball down the court. This does not mean that we
shouldn’t do a great job or express our desires or preferences to those who can
grant them. Further, we should readily walk into a door that He opens and
interact with key people He brings into our paths. It all has to do with where
we put our faith— in self-efforts or in God’s sovereignty. Integrity. “The
integrity of the upright guides them” (Proverbs 11: 3 NIV). If we walk in
integrity, we will experience the peace of knowing that we have done right in
the sight of God. Integrity is not just being honest or telling the truth, but
also making what you say be the truth. You make your word your bond. When
others know they can depend on you to keep your word, it eliminates their
stress also. I know someone who rarely keeps his word. When he promises me
something, I hardly dare to hope. In Psalm 15: 4, David says that one of the
traits of those who will abide in God’s eternal presence is that they “keep
their promises even when it hurts.” Humility. “Fear of the LORD teaches a
person to be wise; humility precedes honor” (Proverbs 15: 33). Humility is not
a sense of unworthiness, but rather an acceptance of our God-given strengths
and our God-allowed weaknesses. We rest in the knowledge of both. Our strengths
should not make us proud. Our weaknesses should not make us anxious, for as God
declared to the apostle Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength
is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12: 9 NKJV).
Equality. “For there is no respect of persons with God”
(Romans 2: 11 KJV). No person is better or more important than another . Some
have simply had more access to what the world offers, achieved more education,
or been called to higher levels of authority and responsibility. No one is
inherently better. No one. The ground is level at the foot of the cross. No
matter what our station is in life, we are to treat everyone with the same
respect. Generosity. “If you give, you will receive. Your gift will return to
you in full measure, pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, and
running over. Whatever measure you use in giving— large or small— it will be
used to measure what is given back to you” (Luke 6: 38). We are never more like
God than when we give, and we can never beat Him at giving. We have no need to
be anxious about not having enough if we extend generosity to others. The list
above is not exhaustive of all Christian values. Your list may include others.
The important thing is that you allow your core values to become the internal
force that drives your actions. To behave in any fashion inconsistent with
these values will rob you of your peace.
TODAY’S SENTENCE PRAYER:
Father, I want You to be glorified in all I do; therefore ,
I ask You to give me the wisdom, the courage, and the discipline to align my
decisions, behaviors, and actions with my values.
Day 7
Schedule Your Day Wisely
The steps of the godly are directed by the LORD. He delights
in every detail of their lives. PSALM 37: 23
Each new day presents us with 1440 minutes to use at our
discretion. If we don’t consciously decide how we will spend them, we will look
up and realize they passed us by without our ever starting the tasks we desired
to complete. The best approach to this problem is to prepare and follow a
wisely prioritized to-do list. I should warn you up front that the list itself
can become a source of stress if you include too many tasks. My friend Sandra
always cautions me to schedule only two or so “majors” in a day. For example,
if I have to take my
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